I suppose most kinky people might do the same if we were billionaires like Christian is, but sadly, most of us aren't.
Most of us spend very little on BDSM equipment, and we still have plenty of kinky fun.
All I heard from colleagues and other kinksters about the books was that they were a terrible representation of BDSM, written by an outsider with a dubious grasp on the concept of consent.
I dismissed the books as irrelevant, but with the release of the movie adaptation this weekend, the buzz about has become unavoidable.
I finally decided to see for myself just how bad it could be. I’ve attempted to catalogue all of the ways in which it was bad, but I did have to narrow the movie's failures down to 10 items.
Some of these are straight-up incorrect depictions of safe and consensual BDSM; others merely have erroneous implications for audience members who aren’t knowledgeable about kink. There is more than one way to incorporate BDSM into your sexual and romantic relationship(s), and Christian’s "lifestyle" is rare.
Consent is more than just the absence of a "no."Yes, Christian is indisputably abusive.
His mother was physically abusive (and a crack addict! ), and so Christian is both unable to love and unable to have vanilla sex.
The film implies that this is what it means to be “into” BDSM, but the reality is that most people who are kinky casually incorporate individual acts like spanking and bondage into their sex lives.
There’s a whole spectrum between that and using BDSM as the guiding principle of one’s existence, so don’t let this movie fool you into thinking "lifestyle" kink is the only — or even the usual — alternative to vanilla sex.2.
Christian then materializes in her bedroom, having presumably broken into her house.
He throws her down on the bed and doesn’t allow her to say a word before he forcibly rapes her.
The second most common BDSM-newbie mistake (other than giving a spanking the way a porn star whacks his partner during doggy-style) is using silk scarves for bondage.